One of the latest episodes of “Love and Hip Hop” concludes with rapper Jim Jones finally giving his girlfriend Chrissy Lampkin what she’s wanted for years. An engagement ring. With marriage statistics looking faint and gloomier each year, the question becomes, how long should you wait for the ring?
Recent Pew Research reports have shown marriage to be lower on the priority list for young adults over the past several decades. In 1960, the median ages of couples getting married were 22 years old for men and 20 years old for women. Presently, the age has risen for both, with males at 28 years old and for women, 26 years old. Young adults are increasingly taking things slower, gaining more life experience before making legal lifelong commitments to their significant other. While this could be positive, many women are simply fed up with the wait. Then the growing fixation on the “black single woman crisis” where black women are repeatedly told through the media how dim their chances are of marriage, don’t make things any better.
But, could it be true? Should women in general face the fact that marriage is something that won’t happen as fast as it did once before? Chrissy cried, argued, and even proposed to her man for him to make that commitment to marriage. But, what is the cutoff time to wait for a man to propose marriage? As Tierra Mari said in the latest episode to Emily B who is also waiting for her ring, “when is the expiration date?”
Unfortunately, there is no way to know when your significant other is ready for the next level until they say there are. It’s impossible to make or force someone, especially a man, ready for marriage. Naturally, many women have ideas about their dream wedding at a young age while guys could care less. The conversation of marriage is imperative and should be introduced at the right time, but not within five minutes of meeting someone. What’s the rush? Nothing is wrong with acknowledging the desire for marriage. However, there must be two ready and willing participants.
While Chrissy may represent many women waiting for their men to make that step, a woman who waits 6 or 7 years is no better off than the one who waits 2 or 3. It’s about the comfort level between both parties and what’s right for them individually and together. Marriage is nothing to hurry and the waiting game is relative.
So what’s your expiration date?
words by: @valeryeg